The Upside of Grading: Funny Student Typos

Sorry for the crappy quality, but I have to make sure I don't show students' names.

Sorry for the crappy quality, but I have to make sure I don’t show students’ names.

As a professor, one of my main duties is grading papers. With five classes, that averages to about 100 hundred papers, give or take, for any assignment. While I love reading student responses, grading and slogging through the slush pile is exhausting and can be tedious (and sometimes a little painful). I realized I needed to make it more fun somehow. So, I started tweeting funny typos (with the number of papers I grade, they happen often!). After tweeting them for about two months, I figured, “Why not share them with my blog audience as well?”

So sit back, relax, and laugh:

“The family charges everyone that came to see him, which leads Pelayo and his wife to become extremely wife.” (How do you become extremely wife? Is it like being Betty Crocker?)

“He looked like a normal man without any freaky fetuses, but ended up being a necrophiliac.” (I probably laughed for five minutes after reading this one. By the by, this is a response to Neil Gaiman’s Snow, Glass, Apples, in case anyone was curious why fetishes—umm, I mean fetuses—were brought up.)

“The two fictional short stories…are two great stories to compare life lesions.” (That’s an unpleasant visual…)

“She goes and buys some men supplies and arsenic.” (…what are men supplies?)

“She lacked quilt…[because] she will kill again.”

“Behavior also has a hug role in the case of a serial killer.” (The softer side of serial killers.)

“They’re people we call our family, friends, and collages.”

“…Garcia Marquez makes the readers question if the old man is really an angle or not.” (The real question is if the old man is really obtuse or acute.)

“I literately have given up sleep to watch Dexter.” (Giving up sleep poetically? I’ve done that.)

OK, I couldn’t just end the blog with typos. Every now and then, students are really freaking awesome and say things I just have to document. So to end the blog, here are a few amazing student quotes (that were typo free!):

“Without fiction, life would be plain and to the point. Nothing creative and magical would exist.”

“Poetry is pretty darn cool. It’s like drawing with words.”

“Just because you guys both like listening to The Smiths and eating Razzles on a Friday night does not mean you have found ‘the one.'” (This one is probably my favorite!)

Conversation with a student, in which the student is trying to understand the “Significance” section of a research proposal:
Student: Say I’m writing about the difference between peanut butter and jelly. Is the “Significance” part where I would say that peanut butter is better than jelly?
Me: Yes, it would also be where you state why knowing that peanut butter is better than jelly would be helpful for the sandwich field.

Want to keep up with the hilarity/awesomeness of my student’s typos? Follow me on Twitter and Facebook!

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